… the big 30.
So, I’ve finally come to grips with the fact that I’ll be turning 30 this year… Many people don’t understand what I’m afraid of, but in terms of being gay: it’s like I’m turning 40.
This year, Beth has agreed that we will do something for my birthday. We’ll probably take a weekend trip to the hill country and just say screw it all for a weekend.
I haven’t done anything for my birthday in terms of a party or anything significant in a very long time. Also, no one ever plans anything for me which kind of annoys me.
This year, I hope to get over-the-hill gifts. If no one sends me any, I’ll probably have some delivered to myself. :P
(My birthday is on June 2.)
I know that it’ll be ok. It’s just a numerical value expressing how long that I’ve been alive and it doesn’t really matter.
However, in a way it does.
I feel somewhat stuck. I don’t have my own place. I finally have a decent job, and I’m still in school. I’ll be graduating this year (or maybe early next year), and then I’ll more than likely continue my studies, but I’m not sure if I should since the board might not let me get a license to practice. I’m not sure what I could do if I specialize in I/O psychology since I wouldn’t be able to technically practice any kind of psychology without getting a license. I wonder if there are any consulting firms that would still hire me with a Ph.D. and not a license… Too many questions, so I might write to the board to ask them for another packet so I can pay for them and the FBI to do a full background check on me.
Perhaps I could do counseling, but they might also have the same issues as the board of psychologists.
I wonder what all I can do with my degrees if I’m not licensed.
I’m soooo tired. I knew that when I took the job that I’d have a commute… However, I didn’t factor in that I’d be working 9 hour days. (I’m at work 10 hours, except every other Friday, I leave early, and every other Friday, I have off.) Since the hours do come out to 80 hours per 2 weeks, it balances out… However, I’m just so burnt out of the commute.
I’ve recently met someone. I’ve crashed with him a couple of times… I just don’t want us to get burnt out of each other. I’ll probably crash with a friend in Magnolia this week so I can save on some gas and some time. I think I might start staying with my friend in Magnolia (Beth) more often… This way, I can help out around the house and save on commute time + sleep more.
I’m staying with a friend in Westbury. He’s one of the only people that I can get along with, so I find it rewarding. Also, the built-in companionship of a roommate that I can get along with works out great. <3
I haven’t been able to make any meetings recently. I really should start going again, but by the time I get home from work, my eyes hurt… Also, my brain hurts at that point. All I want to do is veg out and watch a movie or sleep.
Where do you find motivation to get things done when you’re so tired you can barely do anything and that even TV is too boring?
At the moment, everything in my life is working for the better.
I got the job that I had been wanting for years… I’m starting to pay off bills and become more financially secure.
However, I definitely noticed something while attempting to get back into dating.
On most of the “dating” sites or services: the ones that I want, don’t want me… then the ones that do want me, I don’t want.
I haven’t been in the dating pool for the most part because I didn’t want to play any of the games. I still don’t want to play the games, but at least now I know I really don’t.
For example, there was a person in Bay City who I had hung out with, then he avoids me… If you’re not interested, at least grow a pair and say so.
On my birthday, two different groups of friends are having events. I don’t know which one, if any, that I’ll go to. This will be my first birthday w/o alcohol, so I might just go to Lambda for a meeting that night and not do anything too special. Maybe I’ll hangout with Beth or something if she’s free.
I think it’s official that I’ve moved. My desktop is at the house that I’ve been staying at. I guess it’s the official mark that a geek has moved. I get along great with my housemate and we haven’t had any issues. Which is somewhat strange because I usually don’t get along with people that I live with…
The commute has been kicking my ass, but I think that it’ll be worth it in the end. I might eventually move closer to work, but I like living where I’m at now. I just get up a little earlier and leave earlier to make it on time.
I’m still working out the kinks on how I’m going to blog from this device, mostly because the browsers don’t play well with tumblr, there’s no official tumblr app, and I might just end up posting via email. I need to read the documentation on posting by email to see if adding hash tags at the end of it will add tags or how I can add tags to posts. I think that I might use the word processor application on the device and then paste it into a client that supports pasting…
Surprisingly, I can’t paste from my clipboard into either browser… Go figure. :)
… an update. :)
I haven’t posted in a while, but since I’m listening to a playlist created by someone that’s named “Working and Writing”, I might as well write a short blog post.
For those who haven’t been following updates on FaceBook, since some people only follow me on Tumblr… I’ve gotten a new job. :) It’s all setup. I’m just now waiting on my background check to finish.
The “new job” is actually at a company that I’ve worked at before. I miss the company, the people, and the environment. I loved learning new things daily. :)
I haven’t quite decided what I’m going to do in terms of my living situation.
I’ve been staying in Westbury so that I have better Internet access than at my parents’. There are other reasons why I like staying here, such as being in the city, etc. Officially, I’d be starting on Monday, but it could be earlier.
I just don’t want to overstay my welcome anywhere. I’ll eventually find a place once I start the job and have some money saved back, but that won’t be for a while.
I was getting paranoid about me staying at my friends. I thought I had overstayed my welcome, so I asked him… He said not to worry about it and that he likes having someone here other than his Kitteh (Clinton) to talk to. So, now I feel a lot better. I worry too much. :)
Here’s a photo of Clinton… He has a limited vocabulary, but he’s nice. :)
Random: I never realized how well “Sia” worked for “writing music” until I listened to this playlist. :)
Anywho… I’m just being indecisive as usual. I guess that’s not new…
I started to organize the room at my friend’s house that I’ve been staying in. I fixed the closet doors so they open/close properly.
I hate having things up in the air all the time and being indecisive. I need to just get a plan together and stick to it. I sometimes wish someone would just tell me what to do so that I don’t have to plan it. Plans always change, that’s why I almost never make any. :)
So here’s the plan: Stay at my friend’s in Westbury and commute… and when I start getting paid, help him with bills and contribute. :P
I don’t think I like living out of suitcases. I really don’t see how road warriors do that. :P